How to care for your mental health

By Hol Thomas-Wrightson, 10 October 2023

Today (10 October) is World Mental Health Day, with 2023’s theme being ‘Mental health is a universal human right’. Poor mental health can affect anyone at any time, and while there have been great steps taken to reduce the stigma and open up the conversation around mental health, it is something that a lot of people still suffer with in silence. On top of the individual human suffering of those struggling with poor mental health, studies show that it also costs UK businesses up to £565 billion a year,[1] which has been a key impetus to many organisations taking positive strides to help their employees manage their mental wellbeing. 

Peter Larkum is a mental health first aider and instructor with ten years of experience, and presented a webinar for ICA’s The Big Compliance Festival in 2020. We’ve compiled some of the advice and insights he provided to help anyone who may feel like they are struggling, as well as for those who want to help support their colleagues or reportees. 

You are not alone 

Nobody is immune to mental health problems. There are risk factors that may increase the chance of someone suffering from them, and there are protectors that may work to minimise or mitigate that chance, but there are many people who have all the protectors and still experience poor mental health, and some people who have a whole range of risk factors but manage to avoid it. 

But in one way or another, almost everyone will be affected. 1 in 4 adults a year in England will experience mental health problems, with 1 in 6 reporting a common mental health problem such as anxiety or depression in any given week.[2] And for every one of those people, they are surrounded by family, friends and colleagues who are in turn impacted as they try and support them through it. 

The power of talking

While the conversation is not easy from either side, talking about it can help take some of the stigma out of the topic. For many people, it’s hard to admit that they are having these problems. It’s far too easy to reply to ‘How are you?’ with a quick ‘Not bad, how about you?’ or other similar polite dismissals, or insisting they’re just tired if someone comments on them looking a little down. Instead, taking the time to say something like ‘I’ve noticed these changes, how can I help?’ and showing them that it’s safe to talk about how they are feeling can lead to a much more helpful discussion.  

If you find that you are having more bad days than good, it’s important to talk to someone, whether that’s a friend, partner or family, and/or seeking medical or counselling help. This could mean talking to your GP, or your employer may have an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) which may have a dedicated support process. Alternatively, there are many charities and organisations that offer phone lines, web chats or text services that you can contact to talk through your feelings and that can direct you to services to help if they feel you are in immediate danger. Mind has compiled a list of UK services which is available here.

Emotional literacy

It can sometimes seem like how we feel and how we react to things are just part of who we are. Many of us will never take the time to give it any thought, as we simply act and react to situations in the same way as we always have, and so that becomes the way you always do, and then always will, react. But taking some time with yourself, ideally in a calm and measured way, away from the source of stress or situation that you have reacted to, can help to consider your behaviour in a different light. 

Larkum offered some questions to ask yourself to help reframe this: ‘How does this make you feel?’, ‘Do you want to keep feeling like this?’ and if the answer is no, then the follow up question: ‘What do you want to do instead?’ 

One of the leading sources of stress is someone feeling that they are out of control of their life. By taking this time to self-analyse, you can potentially move towards feeling like you are more in control, rather than just dealing with what life gives you. 

Stress containers

Larkum looked at the idea of stress and how we deal with it, and how many of the things that cause us stress come from a lack of control over something. Everyone also has different stressors in their life, and what causes immense stress for one person may be far easier to handle for another. Likewise, the amount of stress it takes to feel overwhelmed may vary wildly from one person to another.

GREAT DREAM model of happiness

Larkum also shared a useful mnemonic for remembering ways to help improve your mental health over time. Designed by Action for Happiness, the GREAT DREAM Model of Happiness [3] comprises of the following steps.

• Giving – Doing things to help and care for others, whether for your loved ones or volunteering to help others in the community.
• Relating – Building good relationships and support networks with others.
• Exercising – From a full work out, to yoga or a gentle walk.
• Appreciating – Taking time to appreciate the world around you, whether it’s thinking of something that made you feel good each day, or engaging our senses to be aware of your surroundings.
• Trying out – Learning a new skill or hobby, or developing one that you already have, can be rewarding, as well as helping us to feel engaged and motivated. 
• Direction – Setting yourself a goal to work towards, something that stretches you but is achievable, can help keep you motivated and gives a sense of progress and achievement when reached.
• Resilience – Building your ability to remain at your best in difficult situations, or being able to ‘bounce back’ to normal after they have passed.
• Emotions – It is difficult at times, but trying to focus on positive emotions like gratitude, joy and contentment.
• Acceptance – Doing what you can to be and accept yourself for who you are.
• Meaning – Finding a purpose and meaning in life can help you find direction and something to work towards.

While there are many sources of advice around building coping mechanisms for handling short term bouts of negative emotions, it is important to remember that if you are experiencing things like depression or anxiety for prolonged periods of time, seeking medical and/or professional therapeutic care is never something to feel embarrassed about. The brain is an organ like any other in the human body. Sometimes something goes wrong with it, and there is no more shame in seeking medical treatment for a brain that is ill than there is in a diseased heart or lung.